Our paths never seemed too close; they only passed by but for a brief second of our individual eternities. Yet, how my heart longed they would somehow join. I never truly gave up that hope. If I’m honest, I still hold that hope, tucked away somewhere deep in the back of my mind.
Sometimes, it surfaces. Sometimes, it’s a quite memory softly floating in my mind. Sometimes, it’s loud unanswered questions aggressively screaming, repetitively. No rhyme or reason as to the why’s and when’s of their occurrences. They just come.
The questions are insistent, but remain unanswered. It’s like a sappy love song stuck on repeat that sings softly and brokenly, Was this ever a reality, or all my imaginations. Is it possible to love so much your perception of reality is tainted so strongly as to believe something is real, that isn’t truly real? I’m not sure which is worse, believing something that never happened, or facing the reality that someone left so quickly, so easily, and with no explanation.
Regardless of the mutuality of this matter, what I felt was real. And it was strong. You never even let me in to love you, yet my love for you changed me. It broke me, only enough to heal me though. It left me distraught and confused, yet only enough to teach me how to find peace and calmness within the sound of raging unanswered questions. It taught me of a love so strong that I could still desire your happiness, even if I wasn’t by your side as you reached it.
And I do. Oh, how I do. I hope your life is leading you to abundant opportunities, and multitudes of possibilities. I hope your dreams are found, your goals are met, and your talents and gifts are fully appreciated. I hope you find love. Love that sees you for the beautiful soul you are. Love that grasp how massive the potential and abilities within you are.
You might not believe in the massive potential inside you, but I do. Your soul is one of the finest. It wasn’t just loving you that changed me, it was encountering you. You, unknowingly, taught me to believe in myself by believing in me. You, unknowingly, taught me how to invest in the souls around me by having a constant servants heart. You, unknowingly, taught me to love God in a new and deeper way just by the way you unreservedly loved Him.
Nonetheless, our paths have parted. Before us both now lay new, exciting, and uncharted territories. And if ever our paths should cross again, I believe it will be a sweet moment. For in that moment, the unanswered questions, and unmet dream will be inadequate to the bright realities I know we will be living out. And in that moment, the memories of the love that changed me, for the better, will be stronger than the many unanswered questions.