“And when I feel a million miles away, still you connect me in all your ways, and create in me something I would never have seen.”
We’re taught that He is closer than our skin, ever present, never ignoring our pleas and questions. We learn to feel His nearness, know His presence, and hear His voice. And these feelings, these earthly sensations, ideas, and concepts shape our reality of who He is.
But sometimes these things we learned and once felt so confidently, feel far away and unattainable. We wait in silence, feeling the the distance imposed void in our souls. We read with no understanding, we speak with no connection, we listen but hear no response. We feel empty, though we haven’t poured into. We feel empty, but can’t be refilled. No words can be found, and our tears run dry. Only a silent distance between us and our Maker, the Lover of our souls.
We ask ourselves what we are doing wrong, we ask ourselves what we need to change, add, fix, or sacrifice. We work. We strive. We get tired. We cry. We loose heart. We feel the burden of the world without His presence near enough to lay the burden down.
When did we forget that our God is a God of reality greater than feelings, greater than fears, greater than earthly ideas and concepts. He has not left us, He has not abandoned us. Though He may be silent now, He will speak again. We will not miss a thing as long as our ears remain attentive through the silence. Though He may feel far, He isn’t. He is not a God to run when we fall short or find ourselves in crises. But instead, He chooses to draw nearer in these times. We often just don’t know how to perceive Him in bigger and more abstract ways. But He is here.
He is a God of freedom and a God of grace. Not avoidance and abandonment. He wants us to run freely, knowing His presence is near, and bigger than our own understanding. Run in freedom, your Father is near, and He loves you.
“Well I’m embarrassed to admit, the distance I’ve been feeling, has all been self imposed.”